It is I, Michael P. Matthews, and I’ve prepared a new parade of news items that I hope will stimulate electrochemical responses in your brain that are associated with feelings of affection and joy.
*bleating trumpets and booming drums*
Let the procession begin!
People are loving our new rewards program.
Back in July, we rolled out a rewards program that allows you to earn points for making purchases, writing product reviews, referring friends, and more.
Then, you can redeem those points for discounts and other rewards, and as you earn more points, your status climbs and you unlock more goodies.
Moreover, unlike some rewards programs, with us, your points have real value.
For instance, if all you did was buy stuff in our store and redeem points for discounts, you’d be getting 5% cash back on every order.
That sounds groovy, of course, but I wasn’t sure how much this would move the needle, but survey says it’s a winner.
In just the last couple months . . .
- 100,793 customers have created rewards accounts
- 2,483,326 points have been earned, equaling $124,166.30 in potential savings
- 2,157 customers have redeemed points, saving $5,382.45
*Italian chef kiss*
That makes me feel all ticklish inside.
It gets better, too, because not only are we rewarding regular shoppers with real, tangible benefits, we’re also luring new ones out of Amazon’s dusky opium den and into our loving embrace.
So if you haven’t signed up for your rewards account yet, what are you waiting for? The Dark Lord Slorgath to inhabit your soul and press your flesh into his service?
Don’t do that.
Giddyup this way instead and join the party:
My books are now in over 700 Barnes & Noble stores!
I’ve sold a lot of books over the years—just over 1.5 million—but as I’m a self-published author, (mostly) all of them have been online (and mostly from said opium den).
Recently, an editor one of Barnes & Noble’s publishing companies spied my little operation and saw the obvious win-win opportunity, and so now it’s official:
My wordy wares are in Barnes & Noble stores everywhere!
Specifically, Barnes & Noble is now stocking . . .
- Bigger Leaner Stronger
- Thinner Leaner Stronger
- The Shredded Chef
- The Little Black Book of Workout Motivation
Now, I want these books to sell well offline, so I have a favor to ask (and bribe to offer).
If you buy one or more of my books from B & N and send a picture of the barcode(s) to me (at this email address), I’d be in your eternal gratitude.
YES, ETERNAL GRATITUDE
AS IN, MY SPECTRAL SERVICE ACROSS THE ENTIRETY OF SPACE AND TIME.
Oh and you’ll also get to choose one of the following rewards:
Your mission, if you choose to accept it.
Want to meet me and Mind Pump crew?
I like my friends over at Mind Pump and they like me (or at least pretend to).
Hence, they invited me to crash their next live event in San Jose, and I graciously accepted.
If you like us and want to press our fleshy parts and heckle us in front of a live audience, you should come.
September 27, 2019
6:00 PM – 9:00 PM
1343 The Alameda
San Jose, CA 95126
The next step:
Register now at:
We just launched our Scientific Review Board.
It’s official: Google is putting health and fitness heads on pikes.
Over the last year, they’ve rolled out a series of core search changes now known as the Medic update, and it’s been a bonafide bison bludgeoner for just about everyone writing about building muscle, losing fat, and getting healthy.
Many once-popular health and fitness information websites have been kneecapped, losing anywhere from 40 to 60% of organic search traffic, and some have been more or less tactically nuked off the internet, losing 90 to 95% of Google traffic.
Legion took a stiff backhand to the puss (that means face, you pervert, look it up), but fortunately, the Google overlords didn’t take away all our toys.
That said, we want to gain back the search engine ground we lost, and that means we need to do two things better:
- We need to publish more high-quality content.
- We need to increase our credibility and authority.
And so that’s what we’re doing.
For number one, we’re expanding our team of researchers and writers, and for number two, we’ve put together a scientific review board of MDs, PhDs, and other professionals to validate that all our content is evidence-based, accurate, trustworthy, and current.
This way, people can rest easy knowing they’re putting their trust in the right place.
Click here to learn more: